.plan

I forgot to blog about this ordeal I had a month ago.

So I sprained my ankle real bad, crutch level bad (still not healed up). When it happened, I heard a crack, and it was worse than any other sprain, so I wasn’t sure if perhaps I fractured it or something. So I went to the Hospital (ER) to get it checked out.

I show up there, give them my insurance card, they type in my number, and? No Record! Yes, this is the first time I was using it, but that shouldn’t matter. No record, no record - FOR TWENTY MINUTES they wouldn’t admit me, as I stood there for half that time in pain on one foot as they fumbled around the computers and phones. Finally I just sat down on my own after saying “*SIGH* American healthcare” to the lady trying to sort it out, to which she responded “I know…” Anyway, turns out there was a mistake and my account was issued as a Northern California account, so then they kept assuming that I was from there/my employer is based there, which I told them I’m not and have spent a total of maybe one week up there in my life. They kept acting like there’s no way I’m right about my life.

Anyway, let’s observe the bullshit here. Not mentioning the making me stand there when they know my foot is injured/not believing me about anything/etc. The network: what the FUCK kind of system is that? When you have somebody from the same hospital/insurance system, with a card issued by the same hospital/insurance system, and you type in that number, it shows:

“No Record”

-instead of-

“Northern California Patient”

RETARDED!!! I mean how stupid is that? Totally ridiculous, it’s their own system/database. I was on the phone with them about this later on and they basically said they had no plans to implement something unified like that because the database would grow too large/slow with the size of medical records that get pulled up. I asked the guy how it’s possible that they’re able to look it up in customer service, and he explained that they don’t get the full records, just basic info. I suggested/asked why they can’t have a system where when they initially put in the number, it just gets the basic info, and then you can select “retrieve full record”, to which he had no answer yet no willingness to accept. At my follow-up appointment the staff said “We wish it was like that!” when I made the same suggestion. *EYE ROLL MAXIMUM*

They day after I sprained my ankle, me and Strange went to Blockbuster to rent a movie. I went up to the counter and told the man: “Now… at some point in history I had a blockbuster account somewhere in the United States…” He asked me for my driver’s license number, and found it immediately, updated my info, and I was ready to rent. The whole thing took about one minute.

Oh, by the way, the health insurance I’m lucky to have through my employer is supposed to be “really good”. Also, the care at the hospital, not very good. Among other things, it wasn’t until I was leaving that a random nurse on the way out noticed me walking funny with the crutches and showed me what the proper adjustments should be like. Thanks for making sure I’m all set, Kaiser!