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I was looking to watch the new Michael Moore movie this weekend (Capitalism: A Love Story), but the largest theater in Irvine, 21 screens, wasn’t running it.  Wouldn’t want people getting any ideas down here now would we?

I’ve noticed that in the OC there are a lot of Christian women with large fake breasts. How do I know they’re fake? Just the size-to-body ratio and the way they sit/stick out. Plus the OC is known for fake tits. How do I know they’re Christian? Cause I’m starin’ at these tits and I notice a cross necklace resting on them, or I see her getting out of an SUV with a cross or Jesus sticker or etc on it.

What’s strange about it to me, and granted I don’t know that much about Christianity/religion, is that you’d think this is hypocritical, or going against the ideas of the religion. If you believe in the biblical god and that he created everything and whatnot, then wouldn’t you be rejecting the way he made you? I’m sure they have some sort of interesting (ridiculous) reasoning for it.

Not that I have anything against fake tits per se, but something seems off about “Honey, don’t forget to bring the flowers with us to church on Sunday, and then I have my appointment to get my big titties on Monday.”

Listen to this stupid conversation I heard down by the pool:

<Dumb O.C. Woman> So who are you going to vote for for President?

<Dumb Romanian Woman> Oh my gosh, we want McCain, we don’t want Obama.

<Dumb O.C. Woman> Uh huh

<Dumb Romanian Woman> Obama, first of all he is half Muslim, and you know, we watched the debate the other night and he’s completely fucked up, and we can’t have him… and he’s half-Muslim.

<Dumb O.C. Woman> Well, I’m an American, so you know, I want McCain.

<Dumb Romanian Woman> But we are not American citizens, so we cannot vote.

*smirk breaks through my angry face*

…conversation changes…

<Dumb O.C. Woman> So you’re from Romania, where is that, that’s right by Russia isn’t it?

<Dumb Romanian Woman> Yes, well no, Romania is not part of Russia.  Russia is communist, and Romania is part of the European Union.

<Dumb O.C. Woman> Oh.  Well, I’ve never been outside of California.

Wow.  So the people that think Obama is half Muslim are also the type of people that think Russia is still communist.  Such brilliant minds.  I didn’t get involved in it because it would’ve been 4-on-1 (husbands/boyfriends), but now I regret not saying anything, maybe others at the pool would have come to my side.

Here’s a tidbit I heard going on at someone else’s balcony.  Let me set the scene a little bit, later in the evening on a weeknight, drunk women, 30s, one of them just “uh-huh’ing” the other, which was saying:

I wanna have kids, but I wanna have MY OWN kids, I don’t want to adopt them, because the best thing about having kids is seeing yourself in them.  You know?  That’s the best thing about having kids.  Like, I want to see myself in my kid, I wanna see them do something and think “wow, that’s me!”  You know, cause if you adopt them, they’re not you.  I want to have a girl and have her be a small version of me!

Talk about self-absorbed assholes.  The best thing about having kids is not raising a good person, or seeing them be happy, or watching them grow and learn, or helping them make the right decisions and do good in the world, or being proud of them.  It’s not any of those things, it’s about seeing a little version of yourself!

So I was at lunch the other day, and sitting near me were these two co-workers from some other company.  She seemed like a fairly normal, kinda cool lady, he was this standard looking late 30s/early 40s bigger business man type.  She’s talking about transportation, and something about riding the bus.  She pauses at his silence… looks at him… then she says…

You’ve never even ridden the bus have you, in your entire life?

He smirks at her and shakes his head no, he hasn’t.